


He

by perseloucy



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 13:09:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29760132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perseloucy/pseuds/perseloucy
Summary: If I could just
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Lee Donghyuck | Haechan
Kudos: 9





	He

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you won't be too hard on yourself. You are appreciated and love by many, okay? Also, this is Jaehyun's POV.

He’s young, fun, cheerful, and knows how to have joy in many ways. He’s gracious, kind, and soft that everyone can’t help but gravitate towards him and be a part of his world but he only smiles as he doesn’t want to answer them and let them inside his own bubble. 

He loves picking up the microphone at the rack and places his slender finger around the body of the simple black microphone before placing it near his plump lips. Their eyes focused on the tan male, anticipating to hear his beautiful, melodious voice at the speaker once again as they always longed to hear his singing. 

The moment he opened his mouth, his soul swayed together along with the song and got lost at the words behind the beautiful song he picked.

He’s a big tease, literally a tease. He enjoys annoying his friends and bother them but they didn’t take any offense as they know it wasn’t real and he’s joking. Of course, not hearing him in just a day would make their day completely dull so they just let him. He may be a loud person and seems like a vocal one, he’s actually deep.

He loves keeping his own secret that no one ever notices that they actually didn’t know anything about him and doesn’t clearly have an idea about his own life. Despite all those people who act like they know him, they don't know why the energetic male loves wearing knitted sweaters. 

He’s anything but happiness,

not until… 

  
  


_________________________________

  
  


He bleeds the next morning he enters the university but no one seems to notice the blood dripping out from his chest. Or, they simply just didn’t care about the pain he’s experiencing. He still sat in the front row, pulling his notebook at his black bag while ripping an empty sheet at his notebook before crumpling it into a ball and throwing the piece of paper at his friend at the back, “Renjun, you’re annoyingly cute.”

No one notices even when he raises his hand in the middle of the class and the little expanse of his skin shows up in the open space. No one notices the unusual color over his collarbone when he bent down to pick his notebook that fell. Some moment, he would space out for a little but managed to go back in his senses and act like nothing happened.

He goes on with his day like he usually does with a subtle change.

But what worries him is that he doesn’t know when or where he’ll reach his limit. The only thing he tries to control because after all, he doesn’t like seeing pity in someone’s eyes.

_____________________________

He was known for being careful and fearless but behind the courageous look he had on his face, he was a lot more than just a fearless human when he stood up on the ledge because he has trouble opening his wings once more.

He doesn’t cry but he always laughs. 

He’s loud but he’s quiet.

He’s sweet but ants don't want to get near him.

I noticed but he didn’t and maybe that’s the thing I regretted the most. 

I watched him stare at the empty field, I heard him cry at the empty bathroom. I’m there at the bridge where he always stood over the ledge and contemplated whether to take the ticket or not. I’m also there when his parents blame him for being so stupid for taking his own life at his own abode inside the hospital and I’m there to witness his emotionless face as he listens to his parents. 

The bruises at his collarbone are noticeable but no one asked him, I wanted to ask him but I’m scared. I’m scared I might touch something vulnerable and fail to protect him. The scars and newly fresh cuts over his smooth skin, it scares me because he’s vulnerable. He’s fragile and he’s broken, I wanted to save him but I’m a coward. 

At the end, I decided to walk towards his direction but he already made his decision.

But a letter arrived at the doorstep of my apartment. It smells just like him and I miss him even though we never spoke a single word.

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I'm a Jaehyuck stan and I need more of themmmmmm.


End file.
